I recognise this time away to really be with myself, to sit in the stillness of my own thoughts and to embrace the surrender is a privilege. Not everybody gets to experience this in their life.
I liken this experience to that of a sabbatical.
Something that I feel my soul has deeply needed for a while now.
I’ve failed to truly give it to myself because I’ve been too preoccupied with the need to fill everybody else’s needs first.
In little ways I have been able to find ways to refresh my soul but only temporarily.
Underneath, there’s a deep part of me that craves to be seen and held. The part of me that found herself on this path of self discovery to begin with.
She started this journey with curiosity and surrender… a sense of child-like abandon that didn’t care for what other people will say or think.
As I find myself here on what feels like a spiritual journey of reckoning, I acknowledge that to the rest of the world it will seem like I’ve totally lost the plot.
But for once… I really don’t care.
I feel myself detaching from the need for ‘stability’, ‘material possessions’, ‘status’ and ‘image.’
I feel the things that once held so much significance to me no longer holding much meaning.
There’s more to this life than this.
I know it.
Maybe the call to surrender is a way for me to blaze the trail here… in this way of life…
To break out of the rat race, to challenge the ‘norms’ and to come back to the essence of what it was all meant to be about to begin with
Counter cultural if you ask me
I think I am finally learning to let go.
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