The culture I’ve been raised in equates self worth with material wealth. What I have and how much of it is what creates significance, security and ultimately my identity.
But what would it look like to live in such a way that is opposite? Un-identified with labels and possessions.What would it look like to trail blaze a culture of “I am worthy regardless what I own or accomplish” and to dare to spend the rest of my days living that way?
It’s a big question… but it’s one I keep asking myself.
Reflections this morning as I welcome the day... always lost in thought out here.
When I imagine this life, I see myself being free of attachment. Although the ego will still find a way to identify with something- I see how the purpose of my life and the way I live it would start to shift dramatically. I'd have 'things' but not be owned by them. The pursuit of my life would not be more or even less... it would be about, being.
I’d be generous, not just with resources but with the intangible things- kindness, compassion, love, time… because there are no material things that “own me” norm I attached to my own life- my life is, what Jesus would say, “laid down for all.”
I’d surrender into the loving support of the universe- not caught up in making my entire existence about self preservation or self enhancement. I’d witness and experience miraculous “coincidences” and receive the unlimited support and love of all creation.
I’d feel oneness with all of life, receiving an infinite flow of love and connection that fuels me.
I’d be undistracted, able to operate in my purpose without distraction or dilution.
So I ask myself today, “so what does it look like to create a life like this? Do I give up everything I own? Do I keep returning back to the city or live in remote villages to stay grounded?”
When I think about the decisions that I could make, I get overwhelmed. Like somehow, any decision will create have massive unchangeable consequences. So I try to refrain from forcing myself to make any decisions… because
maybe it’s not about making big life-altering moves- perhaps it’s about the mindful, conscious day to day decisions starting with how I carry myself moment to moment. Perhaps jumping to a big decision would just be another way that the ego is attempting to enhance itself.
I used to think that if I relinquished the life I had now, comfortable and safe, I’d be wasting the opportunity my parents worked so hard to give me.
They spent their lifetime working to create a materially ‘better life’ for me and the thought of giving it all away felt selfish. But now… I can see how if it weren’t for their commitment to meet my basic physiological needs- safety, good shelter, health… I could not be here. I couldn’t know or experience love for the greater if I had not experienced the love they’d poured out for me through provision.
I could not be creative, unlock new potentials and blaze a new trail for the generations to come because I’d not have the world to see, explore and marvel at for inspiration. I could not possible know what I know now or have access to the tremendous knowledge and opportunities I do.
All of these things have led me to this place so I can bring the next level of consciousness forth- if not for the whole world, even just for my lineage.
I felt a wise voice speak through me…
“Don’t you see, Nicole? You are a part of a cycle. Your role in this life and in your lineage is so much greater than just yourself. You think about how you build a home and a legacy for your children- this is how. Teach them the new way of thinking, help them win the battle of themselves and they’ll be set for life. Forget the responsibilities and obligations you think you have- listen carefully now.
You were always going to be the gate- the intersection at which what is ‘known’ and what is ‘unknown’ collide. You were bound to reflect; to show the world where it has lost its way and to protect them from themselves and the suffering they inflict on themselves and one another. The warfare is of the mind and the ego- the disease of humanity. It is what you are destined to bring peace and sense to. A deeply spiritual and unseen battle.”
So perhaps the whole point of my existence is not one of significance, but about writing a new story.
It’s about turning the key so that the generations after me can open the door and enter a new way of life.
Although I don't know exactly what it all means or what it requires of me- what I know is I can live every moment consciously reminding myself of this role. That my greatest service to the world, my family and my lineage is to live, embody and teach this truth. I cannot plan my way there or earn it.
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