One of the things I came to Thailand with was a yearning for home. In the lead up to this trip, I felt the words “come home to myself” land on my spirit as if it were calling me to venture deeper inward, to reconnect with a part of myself that I had parted with at some point over the past 2 years building my business.
Prior to being a ‘business-owner’ and ‘entrepreneur,’ I was “Nicole, the faith-filled, wide-eyed wonderer.” The girl whose heart was on fire for serving and loving people, who sought adventure, new connections and exploration through experiences. Nicole who just simply wanted to experience life at its fullest and be a beacon of inspiration and hope to whoever would listen.
When I started my business, it was right before the pandemic changed life as we know it. Prior to that, I actually hadn’t travelled very much, only a few times here and there. Yet I’ve always felt a strong pull to travel.
One of the driving reasons for starting my digital business was because I wanted to create a life of time and location freedom while doing what I loved. I didn’t know the how, all I knew was my why. And that was enough to keep me putting one foot in front of the other
With the re-opening of borders in the past year, I could now feel the rising of my desire to see the world. But until now, I still don’t completely understand why my soul keeps yearning to venture into all corners of the world. The more I tried to delay or suppress this desire, the more I felt my soul wanted it.
So as I began to respond to these gentle nudges from within, my soul began to feel more and more at home. My trip to Thailand was one of those trips. (I booked one starting in Bali in March next year too where I plan to live as a digital nomad across SE Asia for a period of time).
My trip to Thailand was an unfolding of a series of revelations, of which I believe there are many more to come.
My first week here was spent in Phuket. On a small island called Koh Yao Noi, I participated in a business retreat where I got the space to reflect and get re-aligned with myself and the heart of my business.
Coming here after about 2.5 years since starting my business was extremely humbling. It was an opportunity to look back at everything I had created for myself and the life I now had because of it. I often find myself getting lost in the mind drama and scarcity of not being, doing or having enough back home when I get so stuck in my problems. But zooming out and even being surrounded by coaches who are at their early stages in business reminded me that I truly have created an amazing business and life for myself.
But amongst the hard work, that must’ve been where I lost a little part of myself. I had unintentionally begun associating myself to my achievements. My identity became my business and my worth became my income. On this trip, the common reminder seemed to be that there is so much more to me, than this.
This beckoning to “come home to myself” was almost like a sacred invitation to step into the next chapter of my life where it’s not what I’ve built that matters- but who I am. It’s this invitation to abandon everything I’ve made significant and come back to what my true, soul and life’s purpose has been all along.
This coaching business I worked so hard to build was only meant to be a vehicle.
It is the means for reaching people, impacting and serving- but it is not the only way.
There was multiple session throughout this retreat where a word was spoken over my by different people, affirming messages, themes and even visions that I’ve received all throughout my life. They share threads of being a “leader for many”, “sharing my story” and being on a “platform for influence.”
The most wild thing is that none of it was exclusively tied to what I do in and for business.
All my life, I’ve felt a call to lead, love and serve many. I’ve never known (and still don’t know) exactly what that looks like but as I lean in and surrender, I’m starting to wonder if life will just unfold and show me. And maybe one day it will hit me that this is exactly where I’m meant to be and this was what it was all leading me to all along.
Coming to this retreat and now as I type this heading home to board my flight, I almost feel a sense of awe. Something like a sacredness about what I’m taking home. Maybe it’s because a part of me feels it has been found or maybe because a deep healing has happened. My soul feels just that little bit fuller. A little more familiar to me. To a degree, I can surely say that I have come home. In my faith practise, in my sense of inner knowing and to my truest self. I feel more willing to be shameless, to take up space as I am and to follow the callings of my spirit.
I discovered, home was inside me.
To add to this, it was my surprise to learn that “Thailand” also means “land of the free.” How fitting right?
Perhaps that’s why my soul led me here first.
Perhaps this was the unravelling that needed to happen. To come home to me is the key to my freedom. The key to unlocking my own voice. And now the key for me to lead the many, many souls that will follow after me.
I’ve always believed I have a calling larger than I can even comprehend. Whether it be through church ministry or strangers in passing, this same message has been spoken over my life. Even to the root meaning of my name, “Nicole” being “Victory of the people” and “Concepcion” being “to create.”
Weaved through my name is the DNA of a natural leader. I even learnt that my human design is a Reflector, which is 1% of the population and that my character type is the Protagonist, again, the natural leader.
I can’t help but feel the puzzle pieces of my life starting to slowly make sense. And this trip to Thailand was the catalyst of a whole new voyage.
On this trip, I’ve visited temples, met local people, tasted incredible food and even learnt how to cook local food. While it all seems like a typical trip to another country, somehow I feel certain that there’s more for me in this part of the world. That this trip was not by chance and the discoveries are all connected to what’s to come.
Who knows what, where and how this next chapter will look for me?
Yet as scary and uncertain as it seems, my soul feels at home. I find comfort in having come home to myself in a new way. I can’t describe it completely but I pray it is something you might experience one day. An inner peace, a deep knowing and certainty that you are going to be okay no matter what. That you are well on course and as long as you stay the path, saying a gentle and assured “yes” to the things that call to your soul- you are going to find yourself living your most expansive, breathtaking, adventurous life.
A life of no limits and certainly no regrets.
As I travelled throughout Thailand these past 2 weeks, I noticed something different about my disposition. I wasn’t rushed. I wasn’t trying to do all the things. I felt that someday id be back here soon. Like this was definitely not the last time. So the things I’d normally buy to take home as a souvenir, I felt my soul say “there’s no hurry, we’ll be back soon.”
How strange right? Or maybe… how aligned?
Something in south east Asia is calling to me. And I’m excited that in March next year I’ll be embarking on my own solo adventure (terrified but excited!!) Who knows? Maybe there’s a person I will meet? A story that I’ll be called to share? A place that will change my life? An encounter that will transform everything? Whatever it is, I will continue to explore and search. I will keep saying “yes” to the things that light up my soul and follow the path- leading gracefully, whoever will follow after.
So… as you can see- this adventure is more than just the story of a girl who went to Thailand on a holiday. This is the awakening of a soul, a re-alignment of my calling and an adventure of a lifetime. And you, my love, are witnessing it unfold. You, are a part of the story too.
So here it goes.
Will you join me?
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